There are three of them, the oldest one is thinking about apples and the youngest one is thinking about, well you know what. . .

Baby sitting them are a real pain but, it all worked out..... it was so cute seeing them born....

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/* */

We meet Ballpark Frank, a spunky adult actor trying to make it big, see how his whacky adventures go down.

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In episode two, Frank meets some freaks.

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After Ballpark meets unlikely people, he visits the little girl's bathroom to rub out some shake.

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Frank finishes and decides to go back to the party room, but what he doesn't know is that Kent is already sending his picture all over the internet.

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After Frank being alone in the party room for two hours, Brad returns from the farm-- with refreshments.

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Never saw it coming.

This is burger the angry cat, he hates Jews and fags.

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Now heres a baby kitten getting bottle fed, just like I said in the other post.

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I've got more!

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I have a Goomba fetish, it all started after I played Paper mario the thousand year door. I couldn't stop being attracted to a Goomba. And I love the taste of their anus juice.

Fucking hawt.

== edit = =

Moar sexy Goomba.

Actually, its kind of cute.

Now heres where it gets fun.

Improper Grammar
The following sentence has improper Grammar;

Tommy helped his uncle jack off a horse;

In the example above, the sentence is meant to convey that the the subject (Tommy) assisted his uncle (Jack) in dismounting from his horse; However, the sentence is confused with the lack of commas, which are meant to provide stops in the sentence, and therefore create clarity; Proper use of commas here would look as follows;

Tommy helped his uncle, jack, off a horse;

However, our sentence is not perfect yet, as the word "jack" is actually a proper noun, and All Proper Nouns Must Be Capitalized, Regardless Of Where They Lie In A Sentence; This is especially important here, as the word "jack" may be confused for it's slang meaning "to steal your shit" (ebonics); Hence;;;

Tommy helped his uncle, Jack, off a horse;

But grammar can be a tricky thing, and our sentence is still not complete; The closing of the sentence, "off his horse", also creates issues; This word choice may bring up images of cliché such as "Get off your high horse", and "Get off your high horse, motherfucker;" The simplest of word changes, "dismount", is also problematic, as the word "mount" often has sexual implications, which of course we want to avoid, especially since there is an animal in the sentence; Therefore, we must carefully select word choices which have no sexual implications;

Tommy helped his uncle, Jack, masturbate his horse until orgasm

Some radical theorists speculate that Morrowind does indeed contain a plot. If it did contain a plot, which it might have, it might have went like this. You are the main character, and you used to live in fitness but in the middle of the night, you were taken from your apartment because you were too dirty to be seen during the 2008 Olympics. So during the night, Chris Farley and his men take you from Bejing China,and escort you onto a prison boat with Mike Jones, and you are an Illegal immigrant going to Morrowind. In the middle of the night you are having a somewhat prophetic dream, dreaming of having sex with Jessica Alba while drawing animal shapes in the mud, when you are about smell her ass, she is about to tell you where your hand is. But you are disturbed and awoken by Jiub, your prison buddy and life partner. He tells you the boat has stopped. You get off the boat, freed from imprisonment by the string pulling of a distant and obscure emperor and go through the painfully slow creation process. Socucius, with his peculiar face model and annoying voice, decides you shall be a Warrior, as it is the only class you can power level. When you walk through the door Socucius tells you not to take the dagger and lock pick, or he would have to be the next Tax-man (Slang term for Cliff racer bait) Having knowledge of this, you slowly sprint to the room of where the two "needed' items- weapons are. When you spotted the lock pick you struggle to pick it up be cause your crosshair won't hold still. As soon as you managed to grab it, you see the dagger, it had a note under it. It reads "Be sher to sharpin tis nife." in noobish, now in english it reads "I'll stop by tommorow to pick up my dagger, if I find out that a man named Liu has stolen it, I'll kill you." Not caring you equip it. Then you go into the court yard and have a phycidellic hallutionation of Yoda telling you to use the force and get that damn ring from that barrel, finaly, you do so to get that ringing out of your head. You study the ring and the name Faggot is engraved on it, you then find out that you have misread the engravement that realy said Fargoth. Soon after you go inside another room, and you meet this man named Sellus Gravius. A stereo typical 1930s police man, his favorite catch phrase is "You got the goods toots?" He will ask you all sorts of questions and riddles. When you figure them out, he will get pissed of and give you a release fee of 87 gold, the package itself, and more detailed instructions which turn out to be utter bullshit and is best to be ignored, the package will read "If you don't leave the Census and Excise office, it is possible to kill all three people inside without receiving any punishment. If you leave, however, you will be treated normally for all crimes you commit." Before you go outside Sellus will promply tell you to wave good-bye to him or he will not let you out, He also mentions that someone in the South Wall Cornerclub should know where to locate Cosades. Doing so will allow you to exit his sweat shop.

After six hours you finaly go outside, the town is dirty and full of Immigrants, you start to curse under your breath. Soon after a craze red headed man named Vodunius Nuccius will call out "You seem lost." He'll then offer you a tour around the town, its best to choose yes, because if you choose no he'll complain about feeling his teeth and its a wonder why how hasn't gagged on his teeth yet. When you accept his offer he'll give you 1000 gold and reasonable gossip rumors that make you chuckle when on the left side of the trail. At one point it is considered that he has practiced beastiality on Mudcrabs behind the lighthouse when boasting about doing insane stunts to get in the show Maxuim exposeure. When he is finished showing you around the town it is night and you happen to be on a small island not far from Seyda Neen, you thank him and start walking away, he then hastefully considers you to stay with him just in case dracula chokes your foot. You accept in fear and because you do not want to look like a complete douche bag. During that time while Vodunius is starting up the camp fire, you think about what your girlfriend is doing, but decide to kill her and her new boyfriend later. You walk to see Vodunius's progress of the fire, but he only managed to get an amber, even so he blowed real hard that his face started to get beet red, You forcefully grab him and tell him to take it easy because you remembered that many good friends of yours died that way, and that you are not comfortable with whispering corpses talking to you. Vodunius will tell you to take it easy, he covered wars you know. You calm down and day dream some more about satanic thoughts, later on your stomach growls and you ask Vodunius is theres any thing to eat. He doesn't reply so you ask again, you still get no response, so you call his name and look up to see where hes at, but you don't see him and assume hes taking a shit. You wait for like 10 seconds then you started to get worried and interesed,you start to look for him then you put your hand by your mouth and yell out his name. You stopped for a response and yet again he didn't answer. You go deeper into the swampy woods and hear laughing coming from behind a tree, you follow the sound and see that Vodunius is getting high and with out you. you ask him "What the hell are you getting high off of?" Vodunius holds up a large shroom in 15in 3lbs. You get highly amazed and ask if you can hit dat shit. Vodunius hands you one, you sit by him chewing on that bad boy.

Vodunius talks about his childhood, when his father thought that he was gay because he refused to kill his mother and that if he doesn't cut himself he'll get an ass pounding. You laugh at the thought of the beating then say "Yeah I'd pay to see that." Vodunius then jabs you in the face, You still laugh because you're too baked to realise that your nose is bleeding. Vodunius will then start to giggle uncontrolably. You join along with him until he sees a image. he stops and you stop after he bowed up at you, he starts to look around and you ask him whats wrong, he mutters Dracula. You tell him that its just the five shrooms he eat, he still thinks that Dracula is out there, infact he keeps saying it until you start to believe. Now you and him both are frightened, Vodunius starts to huddle up and cuddle you, feeling akward you start to blush, he explains that the reason why Dracula wants to get him is because he killed his father, Vodunius holds you tighter because he can feel a branch on his back thinking its Dracula. at that moment he faints and you get very annoyed, you roll your eyes and carry him back to camp which is ten yards away.

You wake Vodunius up by splashing skooma on his face, at first he will lick the skooma off then he'll wake up, you explain to him what just happen and ask what time it is. Vodunius will check his watch and say 11:02pm, you and him decide its best to go back to Seyda neen. Vodunius stops by the lighthouse and says that he can't stay here much longer, Dracula is going to kill him unless he goes to China, you tell him that you were sent to china to compete for the 2008 olypics. He tells you that you have been real nice and kind to him, you tell him good luck but he needs travel money, he offers you a Cursed ring and tells you its a Charmed ring you ask how much does he need and he replys 50,000 dollars. You jump at the cost and shout what, Vodunius then says that he was just joking laughingly. "Only 100 dollars. . . what do ya say?" You think about it. Vodunius quickly adds "Be a good Samaritan and buy the ring; the money might help Nuccius achieve a little happiness." You give in to his puppy dog eyes. After giving him the money he thanks you a bunch of times and kisses you. in a brotherly way, not the gay way. Vodunius gives you a slip to a place called Arrille's Tradehouse. You are greatful and thank vodunius, he will say to speak to a guy named Arrille, "tell him that Vodunius sent you" after his saying he walks of towards the Silt Strider waving at you, you wave back and walk inside the tradehouse.

When you enter the Tradehouse this big nasty yellow man rudely askes you what the fuck do you want. you hand him a slip and say Vodunius sent me, the yellow man stops and stares at you as if you commited murder, everyone else including Chuck Norris stares at you too. You get comfused and say what, a drunken man named Raflod the Braggart walks forward and says, "Hes a escaped serial killer." You then get real surprised and sit down, the yellow man comes up stairs to talk to you about the sudden suprise. He tells you that his name is arrille by the way. you tell him your name and he complements your name you thank him and he tells your how Vodunius became a murder.

Finally you go to a drunk, old retard named Caius Casades, who has a mild drug problem and also has alstimers disease, even though he calls it anderson's disease, and for some reason keeps insisting you sleep in his bed. For about a year you work pointless jobs collecting a strange box for a guy with chronic masturbation, collecting a skull for a necrophiliac, rescuing a kitten from the sewers, saving an asian lizard from some rascists, and busting a librarian out of a library. After doing all these peculiar jobs, you go back to Mr. Cosades in his creepy little hut, for the first time in a year after an awkward sexual encounter, and he grabs your sholder dramaticly tells you that you are Jesus Christ, the lord and savior. As soon as you hear that sentence you immediately go insane, believing you are Indoril Nerevar, the Lord and savior. But no one believes you because their too busy telling you to fuck off because your an outlander. They kick you out of Balmora, and you are left to wander the painstakingly long and boring roadways of Vvardenfel, a dumpish little island with a volcano in the middle, now you want to go back to China, but boats were out-lawed two days ago. So you decide that suicide is the best choice, you try to kill your self but you keep reloading. You then fall asleep under the bridge of Balmora, and have a disturbing dream about Hitler taking over morrowind. You wake up to a midget poking you with a stik, you run him off with a yard stick and stop to think about becoming a hero. so you just accept the fact that hitler must be stopped. After spending a couple of years on those infernal roads, you make your way to an Ashlander tribe. Since they are a bunch of primitive savages, that have been smoking skooma for way too long, they actually believe you are the Nerevarine.

To prove yourself to them you must go on difficult missions, through a cave full of dead people and the necrophiliac you saw earlier, and kill the last remaining character from daggerfall, to cover up how shit Morrowind's prequel was. After that Caius meets you at the tribal village and tells you to explore a cave full of Scientologist cultists. The rabid bastards attack you on sight because they think you are against their religion. After you kill the humorus fiends that you somehow regret killing. You are then attaked by Rosie o' Donald, and you lose your finger, you fight a ferice battle with a ferice looking monster, when you defeat Rosie Old' Donald she'll fall on the ground, jiggle and cast a Chenbyllism spell apon you. You go batshit and start smashing her face up with a shovel repeately. as soon as you stop she vanishes into green fowl smelling smoke. You cough and gag at the stench of Rosie, and run out the cave, you go to a near by village needing medical attention about the Chenbyllism.

No one believes you, because they are too busy throwing rascist insults at you for being a leader of these crazy bastards, you contract Chenobyllism. You go back and tell Caius, and he takes a ship back to China to help with the Olympics, as soon as he hears the news. He wants to run away, you diseased bastard, get away!

So after this you go to Bill Gates's mansion at Tel Fear, and you pay him all the money you got from Sellus Gravyus at Seyda Neen. he informs you that he needs his scissors back from Jerry Seinfeild, who won it in a stand up comedy bet. You ask where he is and Bill Gates will say in his basement, You go into his maze of a basement and meet a fat guy who claims to be the Last of the Mohicians. And you meet Jerry, you find that Jerry is eating his own legs, he tells you "Whats the deal with airline food?" You have to get the question right, if not he'll die and you will have to endure a Prostate exam. You go with "It has a atmospher of pixar and plastic." He then gives you the scissors, you give the scissors back to Bill Gates. He performs the operation that can cure you, but it killed all his other subjects, because he kept on dropping the scissors. But it works, and you continue along your merry way to the tribal village. you are given your second mission, to Kogoruhn (A.K.A Tom Cruise's House) and you slaughter some more crazy bastards. When you return to the village they announce you as the Nerevarine, but you must prove you are Nerevarine to the Great Houses and The Tribes.

So you become Whoretator, uniting Lindsay, Paris and Nicole, now they are all little whorey friends. After this you get proclaimed Nerevarine by the Tribes, giving them free beer and Mcdonald's vouchers. Now you are the Nerevarine. Now you have the right to use the Construction Set, and slaughter everything with God mode. Whilst sleeping, you are contacted by Dagoth Ur, a magician/hippy stuck in Red Mountain, The Scientologist Fortress of the World. He asks that you save him from the Scientologists. Then you climb all the way to the top of the mountain, fighting deformed Chernobyl survivors and Scientologists. You meet Dagoth Ur. He takes off his golden flower mask and reveals himself as Hitler. Since your shit xbox has fucked Morrowind over, you decide to kill him, the only way you can do this is by destroying his personal computer, which he named "the Heart of Lorkhan". You grab Seening and Kunder that you randomly found lying on the ground, run at his Heart and smash the living crap out of it. With this, Hitler is destroyed, and the Hallway cost has ended. Microsoft is dead. With that done, Vvardenfel hasn't changed one little bit, and the game comes to a pointless ending. The Scientologists have been destroyed, proclaimed as "CRAZY BASTARDS!" by Urine Septic.

Two weeks later, you are back at your hut, in Morrowind not China thinking about setting a campsite up, although people keep telling you that imperials can't camp and that they are piece of shit fucks, that act like snobbish fagglets who fight in packs and always have to bring the law into everything. You get mad and storm back inside your hut and cry. People haven't even noticed that you saved their asses from Hitler, but you don't care because you are better than them at going in and out of places. You decide to fall asleep and fantisize about being a fetus inside a sexy woman's body, The door then slowly opens and you stop and look over, there is an assassan stealing your toys and soul gems. You close your eyes and feel a tounge coming from your ear to your neck, its the assassin, taking over things with gay plessure. The assassin starts to sing to you about how much he loves you, a boner starts to tickle your butt-cheek. You jump up, in suprise the assassin thought you were dead. You manage to kill him in one strike because you got better and more skilled at fighting, you unmask the assassin and find out that its jiub's gay brother. Jib. You find a note on his body you read it and realise. . . "Yet. another adventure is sure to come."

Morrowind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J5wrDo prvM&feature=related#

This one first.

I was 16 years old and I had experienced and taken many different kinds of drugs in my life and have had some wonderful experiences overall. I've smoked pot for a few years, taken all kinds of pills, mushrooms, XTC, nitrous oxide, and snorted coke even... NOTHING could prepare me for the nightmare I was about to experience that night.

I had wanted to try Acid for a long time. I had heard all sorts of 'enlightening' experiences from my friends. I had heard stories about seeing crazy visions, colors, beautiful things, and so on. I figured I'd give it a try sometime or another just to see what all the fuss was about. My parents decided to go away on a trip for two days so they left me by myself to watch our pets. I called around and was finally able to find some Acid the night before they were coming home. After waiting for hours, I got a call from my friend (I'll call him J) saying he was going to go pick it up from the dealer for me. When he finally arrived, he and his friend (I'll call him D) came in with not only 3 hits of Acid, but also some crushed powder XTC that came wrapped in a small bag. The Acid came on three very small pieces of thin paper with the faces of the band Gorillaz on them. It was also wrapped in alluminum foil for protection.

I took my first hit of Acid with J and he took his one hit too around 1:30 in the morning. J wasn't very excited because he had taken Acid many times before and had told me it did nothing to him. After waiting a while, I started to notice things more. The first thing I noticed was how detailed the carpet was. The designs seemed to go on forever and the patterns became much sharper and more detailed than ever before. While J and D were talking, I lay down on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling fan. I noticed the strangest thing about it--these little diamonds appeared around the fan blades and began to almost melt onto the ceiling in a green, liquid type form. I thought this was extremely cool, but J and D didn't seem to care.

After some time passed, we went outside to smoke some Pot that D had brought with him. I had a pretty good amount of it, and it was fairly good stuff so I was fairly high when we were done which didn't really seem to do anything to the Acid effects at all.

We decided to go upstairs and relax for a little while in the room where our computer is. We moved our small TV up to that room and put on some movies to help pass the time. I took my second hit of Acid around that time during one of the movies. I waited a while and still did not notice anything different other than the lights on the ceiling and the patterns on the carpet from before in the living room. Feeling let down, J gave me the XTC powder and told me I'd enjoy that much more. I took the powder which was very gross and just figured the Acid was fake and we'd been ripped off. The dealer wasn't very trustworthy anyway according to many people so I figured we had either gotten some very weak Acid or it was completely fake. I waited some more time and then began to feel the familar effects of XTC kick in. By this time, J and D were bored and tired and decided to leave. BIG MISTAKE!

I came upstairs after they left (by now it was close to 4 a.m.) and decided to just enjoy listening to music at full volume and roll on the XTC until it wore off and I could go to sleep. Then it happened. The first thing I began to notice was that the mouse on the computer had trails on it (some people call these tracers) and it was like the mouse was moving in slow motion. The next thing I remember was that I looked over down the upstairs hallway at the smoke detector and saw it melt right off the wall! I looked again and it was there again as if nothing had happened. The Acid was DEFINITELY real, and I at the time was thrilled.

I looked at the knobs on the computer speakers and they started to throb and pulse, like a heart beating almost. I looked over at some of the posters we have in the room near the computer. One of them was a picture of a street in Germany with a castle tower and vines growing in the corner of the picture. I remember seeing the vines crawling out of the picture towards me. The tower looked three dimensional, as if I could reach out and grab it and also the people in the picture began to walk but were standing still at the same time. I looked at the clouds in the sky of the picture and a face formed in the cloud and smiled at me. I felt very strange all over at the same time. Part of me was enjoying how nice everything was to the touch (the computer chair, the desk, the pillow I was holding, etc.).

I looked over at another picture and saw similar effects. This time, it was a photo of a castle somewhere in Europe. The snow on the towers of the castle seemed to move and form around the towers as if it was snowing that very second. The lights on the inside of the castle seemed to brighten as well. I picked up an old poster my sister used to have on her wall that said 'believe your dreams' and I most definitely was at that point because the Unicorn in the picture started moving and the girly looking rainbow starting glowing along with the letters.

I sat in that room for what felt like ages, when really it was only about 10 minutes. I played some of the weirdest techno/electronic music, which really enhanced my overall mood and caused me to imagine some bizarre things that made no sense (I really can't remember what they were). It was at least 5 a.m. by this point and the sun was beginning to come up. I remember looking out the window and seeing the tree by the window changing as if it was rapidly aging. It looked very animated, as if it was in a cartoon. It started to wilt and melt as if it was liquid and very fragile at the same time and I noticed that the lines on the leaves were much sharper and drawn out.

This was about the time the bad started happening. I went in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I completely flipped out at this point because I noticed that my skin seemed to be changing colors somehow and I saw another image of myself standing right behind me. My eyes were so dilated that they looked completely black and I looked like I was vibrating. This scared me, so I decided to lie down and listen to more music. This didn't help and only managed to scare me even worse. I called J on the phone and woke him up and asked him for help. I talked to him for what seemed like hours about stupid things that made no sense. He tried to calm me down and sounded pissed off that I woke him up.

I calmed down a little bit but I was still freaking out at everything in my room. All my posters were changing and coming to life. The people in one of them started moving and shaking their heads at me. In another one of them, the faces started changing colors and shades. The last one was a drawing of London at night, and I noticed that the hands on Big Ben seemed to be moving. This may not sound that bad, but remember my parents were coming home not too long from then and I could not fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. I even took a hot shower, but I was so numb from the XTC that I couldn't even feel the warmth of the water on my body. It was very unpleasant despite what many people had said about taking showers while rolling.

The dealer's friend said that Acid only lasted six hours at the longest. Everybody who had taken that before had only had six hour trips so I was freaking out already because it was at least 9 a.m. and they would be home soon. By this point and I was tripping VERY hard. I became extremely scared and started hearing scary vibrations and echoes throughout my house. Everytime I moved my hands, I had a series of trails/tracers following it. I decided to call the dealer's friend on the phone and after much confusion in finding his number and trying extremely hard to dial it, I managed to somehow. We talked for a while and he sounded alarmed that I was all by myself. He tried to calm me down and after a while of talking to him, I was able to finally calm down again.

We got off the phone and things got even worse. At this point I was desperately thirsty and was drinking lots of water and sweating like crazy in fear. I don't even know what I was so scared of, I was just extremely terrified at this point. Maybe it was the sounds in my house, or that my hands and arms were vibrating everytime I looked down at them. My arm hairs started to grow and wrap around my arms. I tried calling several of my friends, but nobody answered. I finally called some of my old friends who live far away who had just helped one of their friends out of a bad acid trip and told them what was happening and what I'd taken.

At this point, I was screaming for help. I was in tears because I was so scared. I thought I was dying, I felt like my whole body was shutting down. I went into spells of feeling extremely cold and then extremely hot. She talked to me for a while and calmed me down somehow a little bit. By now though, I was very very scared. My heart was beating so fast it sounded like a machinegun in my ears. I was shaking all over, wrapped up in blankets crying. I felt so pathetic and so helpless in that state and most of all, terrified. I have never been so scared in my entire life. I honestly thought I was dying.

She kept telling me I was going to be okay and that I was just imagining it, but I wasn't imagining the physical things like the horrible horrible pains in my stomach and the terrible pain in my back. I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up so bad, but I couldn't. I knew I had too much, I could feel it in my body. The XTC and Acid combined was way too much for my body to handle. I even prayed to God, I said a long long prayer asking him for help and forgiveness for what I'd done. I did not want to die, not like that. I remember I kept looking at the time and would continue to freak out because only a minute or two had passed by when it seemed like hours had gone by. Things got even worse...I looked up at another poster of mine of the computer game Doom 3, and the demon in the picture turned into some kind of spider and crawled out of the picture and lashed his jaws at me. I was terrified and my friend and her dad were trying so hard to help calm me down but it was no use.

As if things couldn't get any worse, my parents walked in the door downstairs. I started yelling for help. My mom started freaking out, hung the phone up on my friend and her dad, and called 911. My dad yelled at her for doing it and then yelled at me for being so stupid. I was hysterically crying, begging them not to call the cops and have me arrested. I knew I needed to get to a hospital or I was going to die. I was so thirsty I felt like I was in a desert because my mouth felt as dry as sandpaper. My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. It was so bright outside I couldn't keep my eyes open. My parents drove me to the ER and all I remember is begging them to forgive me and that I would never do drugs ever again if I survived. A few times during the ride, I felt my chest tighten up and thought I was having a heart attack but then it stopped. The next few hours I spent in the ER, and I don't remember what happened except everything was extremely blurry and there were lots of noises all around me and people running around.

When I came to, I was still hallucinating but I felt a lot better. The one thing that did still scare me was my Mom's face because everytime I tried to look at her, her whole face would begin to melt and her facial expressions would twist into awful, orge like impressions. I also remember looking at some of the charts in the ER room and watching them change and become animated and saw bugs crawling all over the ceiling that my Mom told me weren't really there. We finally left and I remember how ashamed I felt and freaked out at how the lines on the road seemed to blend together and that every car had trails following it down the road. I was still scared, but at least I didn't die. The doctors in the ER told me I was severely dehydrated.

I will never again do any drugs. Acid changed my life. I am very thankful that I survived that nightmare.